The Stephen LaRoque trial over in Greenville has taken up a lot of time, effort and ink over the last few days. As of this writing, the jury is busily trying to determine what the meaning of the word “is” is.
I know just enough about politics to make ill-informed, blanket statements about both parties. According to the people who comment on The Free Press Facebook and Twitter accounts, the political party they are against is evil while their party spends its spare time sending duct tape to leper colonies.
This knee-jerk philosophy is also being applied to the Stephen LaRoque trial. Liberals believe to their marrow that he’s guilty, while conservatives think the whole thing is a witch hunt.
Me? I honestly don’t care all that much. Trials make for interesting reading, but I think people are tuned in to the proceedings, not out of some blood lust for justice, but rather simple curiosity.
The daytime soap operas are fading away, so watching the fate of a man’s life play out in a public arena is the next best thing. Many people forget the first domino in this long chain of events involved a barbecue restaurant named Chap’s.
As you may recall, flyers claiming LaRoque took Chap’s away from its owner were circulated all over the district. Lawsuits ensued, but more importantly, a great place to get barbecue and barbecue chicken was no more. The general public may have forgotten about what I lovingly refer to as “Barbecue-gate,” but the prosecution in the ongoing LaRoque trial has not.
Sensing recent testimony from an accountant unraveled a bit of their case, federal prosecutors introduced a theory on Monday that sent shock waves and hunger pangs throught the courtroom.
“We believe LaRoque set up the East Carolina Development Company for the sole purpose of taking over Chap’s Restaurant,” said federal prosecutor Hamilton Burger. “We have several witnesses who will attest to the fact that Stephen LaRoque is a brazen barbecue addict who set out to take Chap’s secret recipes for himself.”
According to testimony from former employees, LaRoque was seen eating barbecue and/or barbecue chicken many times between the years of 1997 and 2011.
“Video surveillance from a cookout in 2005 shows LaRoque eating a piece of Chap’s barbecue chicken and later going back for seconds,” Burger said. “He really was out of control. The footage shows LaRoque going through three entire napkins in one meal.”
If all of these new accusations weren’t enough, Burger said he has copies of credit card receipts proving LaRoque purchased bacon-flavored toothpaste from McPhee.com in 2002.
“Stephen LaRoque’s penchant for barbecue was so great that he wanted it on his breath at all times,” Burger said. “He unsuccessfully petitioned Ben and Jerry’s to formulate slaw-flavored ice cream in 2006. The hand soap in his office bathroom? Atkinson’s hushpuppy mix.”
In related news, reports that former N.C. Rep. Van Braxton had laughed himself into a coma during the LaRoque trial have been proven incorrect.
Jon Dawson’s columns appear every Tuesday and Thursday in The Free Press. Contact Jon at 252-559-1092 or jon.dawson@kinston.com. Purchase books, music and ribs at jondawson.com.