There are many things for James “Jimbo” Perry to take pride in; as one of Kinston’s most prominent attorneys, he runs one of the most successful law practices in Eastern North Carolina. He’s a well-recognized philanthropist who has helped create and run several mentoring programs.
However, Perry is most proud of his family. He’s been the loving husband of Joan for 32 1/2 years and is the father of five sons: Madison, Stockton, Stephen, Nathan and Jackson.
Perry credits his own father, along with the influences of his grandfather and other older members of his family, for the man he’s become over his 57 years. He’s spent time reading and studying his grandfather Eli Jackson Perry’s journal — one he kept while attending UNC in Chapel Hill in 1917.
“He wrote, ‘In all things, keep the end in mind,’ ” Perry said. “What I think he was referring to was a pursuit of truth, trying to figure out what truth is and then making that your priority. From a very early age, he understood the importance of being a good husband and a good daddy.”
Some of Perry’s earliest memories are of his grandfather complimenting his grandmother and always encouraging her.
“I saw the security of a home in which a mom and dad love each other,” he said.
What you see is what you get
Perry’s public persona is simple: if you meet him, you automatically like him. The fourth-generation attorney believes in eye contact and rarely, if ever, does someone walk away from a conversation with him without feeling encouraged.
But is he like that at home, too?
“He’s so genuine; what you see in public is what he’s like 24/7,” Joan Perry said. “I’m not sure I can adequately describe what it’s like to be married to him and to watch him be a husband and father in our home.”
Nathan Perry, 24, concurred.
“He’s the exact same person at home that you see in public,” he said. “He’s an outgoing and caring guy. He never changes moods.”
Opening his home to other children
About 20 years ago, Jimbo and Joan answered a calling — allowing a young man from a dysfunctional home to live with them for an extended period. He was the first of now more than two dozen young men or women to whom Jimbo and Joan have opened their home over the past two decades or so.
“After we took in the first young man, we learned that sharing our home is the greatest gift we could give,” Joan Perry said. “Almost all of them came from dysfunctional homes and from all over the world.”
Jimbo said the inspiration for helping children was simple.
“We really are all part of a community and we have a responsibility to those who have little or no hope,” Jimbo Perry said, referring to the New Testament story about Jesus’ lessons about helping those who “are the least of these.”
The Perry’s oldest child, Madison, who is 30, laughed heartily when he explained how his father successfully brought other children into their home.
“I think Dad got a bulk of his training about how to be a good parent by being a great camp counselor when he was younger, so it felt like he was expanding the fun to a wider circle,” Madison said with a chuckle. “I feel like he first figured out how to be a good dad and then he learned he had enough energy to be a good dad to more than just me or my brothers.”
Madison said there was never any ill will towards the children his father took in.
“I was the oldest kid, so of course I wanted more attention, but I never felt like he overlooked me in favor of anyone else,” he said.
Wegene Tadele is one of the young people who have lived with the Perrys; he was born in Ethiopia and made his way to Kinston and the Perrys via a Raleigh-based orphanage in 2007 with the goal of eventually returning to Ethiopia and improving the country. Tadele lived in their home and attended Arendell Parrott Academy for his senior year of high school.
He is now a graduate student at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in Cambridge, Mass. He said he and Jimbo talk on the phone several times a month and he tries to visit Kinston a couple of times a year.
“He taught me that when I become a dad, I should always tell them that I love them,” Tadele said. “When he would come home, he would say, ‘I love you guys;’ before bed every night, he’d say, ‘I love you guys.’ ”
Bringing other children into their home was always a family decision.
“All along, we prayed and wanted to be used in our community in the way that would be really pleasing to the Lord,” Joan Perry said. “As we became aware of needs, we would pray about it and then involve our children in the decision.
“I never imagined opening my home to other people to live in for extended periods of time. It’s been such a blessing, though, because we take it on one need at a time. We’ve learned that if we recognize that need, God is going to provide for that situation.”
A father figure to a community
Former Southeast Elementary School Principal and Kinston native Felicia Solomon met Perry in 2000 when she returned to town to teach at Sampson Elementary; he was a volunteer at the school then.
The two helped create the little by little mentoring program, which continues to help young people at Southeast. Solomon, who now works in the Washington County School system, estimated Perry’s influence to young people in Kinston in the “hundreds” of children.
Emotion coursed through her voice in a phone interview with The Free Press when she was asked to describe Perry.
“Jimbo is definitely one of the greatest men I know,” Solomon said. “I’ve often said he embodies the nature of Christ — that if anyone never knew anything about God, meeting Jimbo would help someone learn the character of Christ. He’s a vessel of hope.”
Thelittle by little program was a practical example of his influence, she said.
“Jimbo is a father to so many; his territory is so large,” Solomon said. “He’s very selfless and one that believes in casting hope and dreams. He’s not one that sits on the sideline and talks about it, he’s a man of action.
“The life that Jimbo leads is one that is to be admired.”
Lessons he’s taught
Tadele fondly recalls the best lesson he learned from Perry.
“He taught me that, regardless of one’s accomplishments, a dad always loves you,” Tadele said. “He was like my dad. When I lived there, I felt like I was home and that was a great thing. I learned how to be a good dad in the future from Jimbo.”
One trait Nathan Perry appreciates in his father is Jimbo’s ability to encourage others.
“He always wants everyone to feel special,” Nathan Perry said. “Every person he comes in contact, he makes them feel special.”
Madison Perry, the father of two — including a newborn son last week — said he models his home after the one he grew up in.
“I emphatically endorse him as the kind of father I hope I am and can become,” Madison Perry said. “I’m very happy to be his son.”
Time management
In his life, Jimbo Perry has run a successful law practice, raised five sons (and participated in and watched all their extracurricular activities), given a temporary home to dozens more children while volunteering many hours of his week in several other endeavors, such as little by little and The Refuge.
Even his wife admits she doesn’t know how he makes time for everything he does.
“Honestly, I don’t (know) the answer to that,” Joan Perry said with a laugh. “His schedule is crazy but somehow he works it out. I really don’t know how he does it, because he makes time at home such a priority.”
Time management comes easy to him, he admitted.
“The greatest gift we have is time,” he said. “You can replace anything else. We should treat each minute as a gift; how we use the gift of that minute is important. That means there is plenty of time.”
His children certainly appreciated the attention he gave of them.
“Having four brothers, I know it was hard for him to find that quality time to spend with each one of us, but he always found it,” Nathan Perry said. “He always took time out of his day to read to us. … We read a lot of good books together.”
Jimbo’s genuine love for his boys was always evident, according to his children.
“He always left work at work and when we saw him every day, he always made it special, like it was the first time we’d seen him in a long time,” Madison Perry said. “He would come home after a long day on the road and in courtrooms all over North Carolina and would still be just as excited to hug Mom and go out in the yard and play with us.”
Advice to other fathers
It’s evident that Jimbo Perry is still very much in love with his wife. During an interview last week, when the subject of Joan Perry came up, he choked up a little and wiped tears from his eyes when describing his affection for his spouse.
The feeling is certainly mutual.
“The greatest privilege of my life is to be married to him,” Joan Perry said. “We’ve had such a wonderful adventure together. He is the most remarkable man I’ve ever known.”
Ultimately, that leads to his advice for new fathers: love.
“Love your child’s mother well,” he said. “That is the best advice I can give.”
Bryan C. Hanks can be reached at 252-559-1074 or at Bryan.Hanks@Kinston.com. Follow him on Twitter at @BCHanks.