It has never been clearer than it is right now when someone doesn’t want to talk to you.
Allow me to explain. Picture the year 1980: cell phones and the answering machine were still in their infancies. There is no caller ID. There is no Facebook, Twitter or Skype. Laptops do not exist.
If you wanted to get up with someone, you had only a few options. You could physically go see the person, write a snail mail letter or call them on the phone. Or I suppose you could just holler out of the window like Rocky letting Paulie know Adrian was at his place.
However, if your desired acquaintance was not physically at their home, the phone would just ring and ring and ring (pre-answering machines). Ironically, if you were home, you answered ALL calls because you didn’t know who was calling (pre-caller ID).
Those days are gone.
Fast forward to 2013: We live in a world of laptops, iPads, caller ID, voice mail, social media, smart phones, instant messaging and Skype. We even have televisions that post the caller ID across the screen and pause the show you are watching. Technology is everywhere. None of us go anywhere without some form of these items accompanying us on our voyage.
In a real sense, with the possible exception of the few categories I will cover below, you should always be able to catch up with someone.
This leads to my first statement. If you can’t get up with someone these days, chances are they DO NOT want to talk to YOU. There is no other way to look at it any longer.
Think about it. Every phone records every call, text and voice mail. The idea that someone didn’t see any of these attempts to reach out and touch them is absurd.
We all see them. We all notice the icon, the flashing light or the huge “missed call” plastered across our phones. Add to that, most of us look at our phones within the first 10 minutes of being awake, the idea that someone didn’t get back to you leaves only one viable option: They don’t want to talk to you.
There are a few valid reasons for someone being out of touch. No longer do excuses like “I stepped out” or “I was out of town” hold water. The fact is barely anyone goes more than a day or so without checking their phone, social media accounts or voicemail.
No one.
As for valid reasons not to get the phone, sleep, church, family outings and work still are more than acceptable reasons. Add to that list outdoor activities such as hiking, fishing, biking or running. Date night and the subsequent spousal/significant other activities also rank high on the acceptable list.
However, we have all seen someone pick up their phone when it rings and put it back down and/or silence it. I have done it. You have probably done it. We didn’t want to speak that person or place right then.
Or at all.
And that was the point of this entire ramble. More than ever, if you leave a message, send a text or Facebook or tweet someone, it is recorded and out there. It doesn’t disappear unless it is deleted. End result, if the subject of your inquiries doesn’t get back to you, they don’t want to talk to you.
Richard Clark is the universal desk chief for Halifax ENC; his column appears in this space every Sunday. You can reach him at 910-219-8452 or t Richard.Clark@jdnews.com. Follow him on Twitter at @kpaws22.